I should have guessed it would happen, but I don’t think I anticipated the texts I would get from my exes.
Is this one about me? Am I him? Or him?
I’ve been struggling a lot since I started sharing my writing. About what to share, and what to keep close to the belt.
First and foremost, I always want my writing to be honest. I firmly believe there is no better way to find a point of connection than through honest writing. Whether you’ve been through an experience or not, you can tell when a writer is sharing his or her truths, and that is very important to me. At the same time, it’s no secret that honesty sometimes gets you into trouble.
It might be surprising (considering I’m literally publishing my life online), but I used to think I was terrible at sharing my feelings. Being open and vulnerable was something I really struggled with, especially in relationships, and it took me a long time to realize that I’m not actually that bad at it. It’s often the people with whom I’m sharing, who make opening up easy for me.
And so you’re probably asking how I’m sharing with the world. After all, I have zero control over who is reading what I write. Well, I think a big part of why I wanted to start this blog was for exactly that reason. I have no idea who is reading this, and on the off chance that I connect to anyone out there who could maybe relate to some iota of what I’m saying, I’ll feel a little bit fulfilled. I’ve found that I’ve become better at opening up over the past few years, and there are so many people and experiences I have to thank for that. And so I’m trying to embrace it. And I guess, selfishly, I really just want to test my own limits. Push myself out of my comfort zone.
At the same time, I understand that my life doesn’t happen in a vacuum. My relationships and my friendships are not mine alone, and I don’t have ownership over every story I want to share.
Trust me when I say, there are many pieces left in the drafts folder. But I’m sure, even the things I do write will stir up questions among the people in my life. But I still understand that as I move forward with sharing and writing, I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, but I hope that first and foremost I’m being honest, authentic and fair. And of course, I hope that you’ll always feel comfortable enough to ask if this blog is about you :). Because the goal of this blog is definitely not to be a burn book or a way to air anyone’s dirty laundry. It’s just about trying to share what goes on in my life- the serious and the funny, the strange and the mundane, and hopefully connect to a few of you along the way.
And because I couldn’t post this blog without sharing this!…You’re welcome.