So why did I start this blog?
It starts with the Instagram @skirtsandkicks, which mostly began as a sort of joke. A suggestion from my friend Andrew, who knew I loved sneakers, he told me there’s probably a niche for pairing skirts with kicks. And of course, somewhere along the way of actually starting the ‘gram it became clear that I was not serious enough to create an Instagram account about my daily looks without taking myself very un-seriously. That was back in August 2018. The account was very low key. I didn’t tell any of my friends or family. Anyone who followed me happened upon it by chance. It was in many ways a joke.
But let’s backtrack. I always thought I would pursue a career in writing. I graduated college with a degree in English and Creative Writing, with all the hopes and dreams that maybe one day I would be some sort of writer/ blogger/ reporter/ creative type. The universe (and probably my parents), had very different plans for me. I started a job at a real estate firm the summer after graduation, signed a lease on an apartment, and by the time I realized I wanted to shift gears, I was a bit in over my head. Rightfully so, my parents advised me to work for a year or two, save up, and then revisit my dreams at a later date, while continuing to write on the side.
This was VERY responsible advice, especially considering I had zero interest in actually being responsible. So I listened. The problem is, I got very comfortable very quickly. And as much as I said I would make time to write, I rarely ever did on a consistent basis. But I always felt like I was missing out on something, like I was supposed to be writing instead of doing whatever else I was doing. (Of course, this was my own fault, but I like to ignore that fact).
Which brings us to the blog.
I had sort of always been writing, but never held myself accountable to write consistently, and I was starting to realize if I wanted to really kick it into high gear, that would need to change.
So it was a weird mix of things that actually got me here.
For one, I already had an Instagram account created, which any good millennial knows is the key to starting a blog. One that centered around this niche fascination with sneakers; it highlighted my obsession with kicks, but also humor. It was, well brimming with sarcasm. I had a handful of followers and a personal brand, what more could I need?
And then there was Man Repeller. I had my first piece published online, and in a way it was a big source of validation for me, a nod of approval from the writing world that I actually had it in me to write articles that people wanted to read.
Then there was the feedback, from friends and strangers. The people who reached out and messaged me, or stopped me to say they read what I wrote and that they related to it, or thought that I worked in writing. All those things contributed to a sense that maybe I was onto something.
Now we add on the weird space I was in dating-wise. The guy I was dating at the time was very supportive of my writing and me pursuing my writing career. He had no qualms about appearing in blogs, and even occasionally still reaches out to give me advice despite the fact that we’re no longer dating, and his confidence in me definitely contributed to an overall belief in myself that I had it in me to start something of my own.
But mostly there was this sense of self. Something I guess I have been working towards for a really long time, sometimes actively, other times unknowingly, trying to figure out who exactly I am, want to be, and what I want. And it’s not to say that I figured it out, because I am FARRRRRR from that point, but I think in the past few years, I’m not even sure when exactly it began, but I started to gain a sense of belief in my own ability to be more vulnerable. To be a little more open minded, to be a little more willing to get hurt. To put myself in situations that scare me.
And so this blog was born. An ultimate way to test my own vulnerabilities. To share, to explore, to write. But also a way to do what I always said I would do-to write consistently. I wanted a place where my work could live. Where my writing could explore the boundaries beyond my own brain, not only so that I could test my own limits, not only so that I could share with others, but because I’ve come to realize that putting my writing out into the world, lets other people in. And this type of connection, has not only shown me how similar people’s experiences can be, but it has also shown me that hearing feedback helps inform the way I think about my writing, my life, my vulnerabilities, and my relationships.
When I started this blog I didn’t think it would take the shape that it has taken. It was, after all, a sneaker blog 🙂 There are plenty of dating stories up on this blog, and to be honest, I really thought I would shy away from that. But from my first dating post, I started getting messages that people really related to what I was saying. That I was sharing feelings or experiences that maybe other people felt, but weren’t brave enough to share themselves. And it’s funny, because I don’t think of it as brave, because we all live in a giant fishbowl. Everyone knows everything about everyone, and we are lying to ourselves, if we think otherwise. You can laugh about my worst date story or your friend’s worst date story all you want, but I can promise you, there is not a doubt in my mind that you are SOMEONE’s worst date story. You are. You just have to be. That’s the way it works. And that’s ok. That’s what makes the world go around. And I hate to break it to you, but he or she told his or her friends about it, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You just have to soldier on, because harping on these things gets you absolutely nowhere. I promise you, if I learned one thing since I started this blog, it’s that no one is immune to the ups and downs of dating. That’s life, it’s fact. And that’s probably one of the things I love most about writing these blog posts; hearing how much people relate to them.
I am sure the content of this blog will constantly shift. I’m writing what I know, and what I know is ever changing, (especially considering the fact that I know very little). As much as the blog is a place for me, a place I started-almost as a portfolio of sorts, I’ve come to realize that maybe it’s also a place for you. And if it finds a home with anyone else, well then, that’s pretty cool. Maybe you relate, maybe you completely disagree, but if it has you questioning, or thinking about things differently, well then, I’m really happy I shared this all with you.