I’m counting down the days until Sunday night when Game of Thrones ends. I can’t wait to be a person again. To be a part of society.
Because if one more person gives me that look when I tell them I don’t watch the show, I’m going to kill myself a’la Jon* Snow (so I can come back to life and all) and then murder them the same way too. Because OMG enough already. (Ya, whatever, I’m somewhat holding), because that’s the thing with this dumb show that I don’t watch. I can pretend to have a conversation with you. I have twitter. I’m a person. I’m holding in social normalcy. And honestly, that might infuriate more than the fact that you can’t believe I don’t watch it. I hate that I know what you’re talking about.
That I can throw lines into work conversations like:
“Classic Starbucks making all that money off that episode.”
“Wow, Arya Stark. Just Wow.”–referring to her beast mode or her sex scene (guys, I don’t watch the show, but I feel like if she’s old enough to kill people in serious battles, she’s old enough to have sex? But that’s neither here nor there).
I can reference battles. Winterfell, Red Wedding. Classic. Classic Battles.
But OMG I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to pretend to watch dragons fighting brothers who sleep with sisters or aunts who sleep with nephews? Did I get that right? I honestly don’t know what the incest tree is. That’s where I get lost. Forgive me for not keeping better track. After watching the first two episodes I got bored and confused, and yes, I get it, I’m missing out on THE BEST SHOW EVER. and NO, I DO NOT CARE. Guess what? I’m going to drop some bombs on you, so brace yourself. I never watched Lost. And I never finished Breaking Bad. I know. Am I a monster? Who knows? Maybe this explains everything that’s wrong with me. Let’s spend forever analyzing this!
But I’m so happy. That’s the thing. I couldn’t care less about what happens on Sunday. I don’t have to pretend that I predicted anything since season 2. I don’t have to avoid all social situations if I miss a live episode. I am free to do as I please. I scroll through twitter on Sunday nights with both eyes open. I’ve been living the good life since season 1, and I will be exactly the same person next month as I will be on Sunday night, EXCEPT that I won’t have to talk about this dumb show anymore.
So farewell Game of Thrones. Farewell Arya. Farewell Jon* Snow. Farewell Daenerys. Farewell Winterfell. Farewell Dragons. I’m sure you’ll all be dead by Sunday, and I swear if you come back to life in like five years for a re-boot, I’ll be so mad.
*Apparently there’s no H in Jon. This show makes no sense. Welcome to the tribe Jon. If you weren’t cute I’d be way more annoyed.