What Do Friend Requests Mean?

Welcome to the second edition of Ask Skirts and Kicks! Have a question? I pretend to  have answers! Send me DM’s @skirtsandkicks on insta or email skirtsandkicks@gmail.com.

Dear S&K,

I recently met someone, and she friended me a few days later, but then nothing, (actually it’s a bit weird because Facebook had her as a suggested friend before I met her). Does her friend request mean anything? Does the request need to come with a message for it to mean interest?

I’ve asked people before, and I’ve gotten mixed reactions which is why I’ve come to the expert.

Accepted but now what

Dear Accepted but now what,

Lol that you just called me an expert. We’ll just brush by that super fast and get to my advice. The truth is, I have no idea if she likes you or if it means anything. I want to say yes, because I’ve totally been that girl, and I’ve totally made that move. I’ve met a guy, friended him, and then waited for him to make the next move. The hope is that by sending the request, I was taking the first step to show him I was interested, so that he would then take the second step by reaching out to me. I know. It’s totally backwards and stupid. I think it comes from a place of insecurity. But if I wanted him to reach out, I should’ve just messaged him from the start. It’s 2019. I can make moves. Point taken on my end. But what I’m trying to say is that based on my own experience, no, the friend request doesn’t need to come with a message to mean interest. (But it also doesn’t mean she’s interested. (I know, WORST ADVICE!)

The Facebook friend suggestion thing is weird, but not that weird. Apparently there’s something with the Facebook algorithm that if you or the other person looks each other up enough times, they come up as a suggested friend or something? I don’t know if that’s actually true. I just heard it once. More likely she came up as a suggested friend because you guys go to the same shul or something, but Facebook is mad creepy, so I wouldn’t put it past them to know anyone’s inner thoughts. 

The only thing I CAN glean from the fact that you noticed she popped up as a suggested friend before you met her, is that you’ve clearly noticed her before. And so whether or not she’s interested, I’m thinking you might be. 

So with that I will say the following. I have no idea how old you are, or how many people you’ve dated, or who this chick is etc. But if I were you, I would say that if you’re interested in her, go for it. Invite her for a meal. Ask her out. Do something. I personally am past the point of wanting to make more friends of the opposite gender, so it’s kind of a no lose situation. If she’s interested-Awesome! If not, who cares? Yes, rejection sucks. But I would venture to guess you’ve been rejected before and you’ll likely get rejected again (I know, sorry!!). On the flip side you’ve probably rejected people before and will probably reject people in the future. That’s just what it means to date. You can’t like everyone! If you did, this whole dating thing would be wayyyyy different.  Personally, I appreciate when guys put themselves out there, even if I’m not interested. Because it shows initiative and confidence, and at the end of the day, even if I say no, when I see them again, I don’t look at them with pity, or feel embarrassed for them, I actually think it’s cool that they’re able to express their feelings and go after what they want. (within reason—don’t stalk her or anything!!). 

So, do I think she’s interested in you? Maybe. Do I think you’re interested in her? A little more than maybe. But if it’s a yes-I say go for it! And if she’s not down, I probably have ice cream in my freezer or something you can have. 

Good Luck!




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