I sat in the back of an Uber late one night a few weeks ago, and I watched as familiar sights flashed by me. Buildings and landmarks I had been to in the last year for work or social events. I was on my way to spend time with friends, new friends I have made in my years since college. My “single years.” Spotify lulled In my ears as it always does. And yet, something felt different.
“I’ve been there.” I thought, as I passed each landmark. “And there. I know this city. I have nowhere to be tomorrow. I am here because this is where I want to be.” And there was this deep swell of gratitude that washed over me.
I have a hard time writing about existential experiences like this- I feel like I’m trying to manipulate other people’s emotions. Something about it feels shallow and small. About trying to take big things and squeeze them into tiny paragraphs. About trying to force others to understand moments of your own personal growth.
So honestly, I’m not going to try to explain in detail exactly what I felt. It was just a feeling. One that envelops your whole body and shuts out the outer noise, and makes you remember to be present. And if you know what I’m talking about, then I’m happy you do, and if you don’t, I hope you find that space one day.
But ever since then, and I think even before, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude. A lot about perspective. Because to me the two are very much linked.
This platform teaches me a lot. Yes, there’s the baseline level that some people struggle more than others. But when I interact with people, what I’m constantly thinking and reminded of is the importance of perspective. And to me, a positive perspective is one of the strongest strengths of character.
When people ask me what I’m looking for in a partner- one of the first things I usually list is “positive.”
There are people on this blog who see things as they really are, but their minds and their hearts are truly open. They might be more reserved, they might have views that completely differ from my own, they might know me, they might not. I don’t have favorite followers. But I will say I have people I admire. And the followers I look up to are the ones who are able to take steps back. They’re able to see situations from multiple angles. They find good where others see bad.
And strength to be able to put things into perspective, that is really meaningful to me. Especially at this point in my life.
Because the strength of a positive perspective is linked to the strength of gratitude. And to me, that is what dictates that trajectory of your life. The people with the best lives are the ones who see their lives that way. It sounds corny, but as I get older, I see how true it is. The more open you are to allowing yourself find good in the bad- to be open to experiences that might make you uncomfortable- the more you are able to let in.
There are a lot of things that I want right now. I think most of my followers can say the same thing. I think a lot of people are sometimes afraid to embrace their own gratitude. “How can I say that I’m happy being single, if I want to be with someone?” But what I’ve come to realize, is that being able to have gratitude for what you have, to say “I am actually also really happy,” “I am grateful” doesn’t mean you don’t want more. It just means your heart is open. I don’t think the two need to contradict each other. People are complex. We’re constantly trying to grow. At least- I think that’s the goal. How are you supposed to move forward if you can’t appreciate the good you have right now? So I know it’s late, and the day is busy- but I hope you find a moment of pause over the next day to shift the way you think about things. I hope that seeing the good, brings you more good
Shana Tova and Gmar Tov to all.
Wishing you all the strength to see light in dark, good in bad, and be grateful for what you have.
Thank you all for making this community so special.