This started as a joke fashion Instagram and then became my own personal blog. But it has quickly become something entirely different than what I expected. Because when I posted essays about dating people began to reach out. And then I posted a poll on my stories about dating, and people started to respond.
And what started to happen was that I saw that there was some sort of void that maybe I was speaking to. And very slowly, people began to follow. So I began to take this Instagram in a new direction, because I realized that maybe I had hit on something. So what started as my personal blog, quickly became not my own anymore.
It’s REALLY hard to run this blog. My followers are diverse, which makes for exciting conversations, but also for heated debate. I’m constantly making on the spot judgments- of when to shut something down, when to keep something up, when to throw in a joke…
I’m engaging with my peers. So I think a lot about sounding condescending when responding to DM’s. I think about being sensitive to people’s vulnerabilities, and I worry about them when they share with me. I hope that people actually seek out professional help because I know I’m under qualified to help them.
You might follow this blog, but this blog follows me everywhere.
I also worry a lot about how this impacts my personal life. I worry about how you all think of me. I worry about how my friends and family think of me. How people I date think of me. I worry that people will associate other people’s opinions with my own. I worry that people misread things I write, and judge me for it. I wonder if this blog is beneficial to my own image, while it helps you find yours. I think about these things daily.
So I just make decisions. Because that’s how you learn. And it’s the only way to give this blog life.
I know I cannot satisfy everyone at all times. But the hope is that people are feeling heard and people are engaged, and if I mess up one day, I won’t do it again the next day.
And hopefully, from all these small decisions- you find some sort of meaning- some sort of growth- some sort of introspection. Hopefully you feel respected enough. And a little less alone.